Why men can't remember things…

Ken's Korner

By Ken Carpenter

I read a report recently that a human'd5s memory actually starts to suffer some deterioration in their 20s. Their 20s! What is that supposed to make a 50-something feel like?

A not so famous author once said 'd2Most of us must learn a great deal every day in order to keep ahead of what we forget.'d3 Amen to that. As for me, I'd5d just be happy to find my keys and wallet every day without a frantic search.

Memory is defined as 'd2the mental faculty of retaining and recalling past experiences.'d3 It seems to me that people recall a lot from the past, they just don'd5t recall it correctly.

Or they get several memories from years apart combined into the same snappy tale, perhaps embellished with a few colorful tidbits from old movies they saw. Makes for a good story, but accuracy is a bit garbled.

'd2Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.'d3 That is another quote from an unknown somebody, and one that also rings true. Fall face first into a fresh cowpie with witnesses around you and just try to forget it. Never happen, not if you live to be 110.

I have a tailor-made memory tool in my life, just as many men do. It is called a wife.

If I need to remember something important, I don'd5t sweat it. I just say 'd2Hon, remind me to trim my nose hairs next Friday at 6 p.m., will you?'d3

'd2Yes dear,'d3 she replies sweetly, knowing full well that she will only remember half of the time. That'd5s OK, if left to rely on my own faulty resources I would only have a 25 percent efficiency rating. She'd5s like money in the bank.

I used to think that female ovaries had a memory chip in them that made women less forgetful than men, but I have had to revise my thinking since I got remarried. Joy does not have ovaries and she still remembers things better than I do.

She does have two things that I don'd5t however. Let me put it this way, she needs a sturdy undergarment to support them. I think that they are tied into the memory banks somehow, perhaps housing the hard drive like a computer.

Microsoft never had it so good. Dolly Parton must have a memory like an elephant too, if my theory has any credibility.

I suppose if mankind evolves far enough, everybody will have bulging memorization containers and nothing will ever be forgotten. I hope not, I kinda like things the way they are, forgetful or not.

They look like they would get in the way too, and it would just be two more things to remember to clothe.