Be open minded, do your research

I used to have a lot of respect for certain people who work with the Crisis Center to help women in need.] I have tried several times in the past to help abused women, even to the point of buying airline tickets out-of-pocket to get them out of town. I know the frustration when they decide to return to the very abuse you helped them try to escape, due to co-dependency or other psychosis.

If somebody in the position to help others is blinded by the bitterness of their own misfortunes in relationships, it can be nonproductive and a waste of taxpayer dollars and donations. If they appoint themselves judge, jury and executioner and put all the blame on a person because he is male, without knowing all the facts in the matter it is very narrow-minded and unfair.

If they are teaching these women to lie and manipulate, they are not helping them. If they are also in a position to have influence on children, I also worry what kind of influence this bitterness has on these very impressionable young children.

I know that a high percentage of domestic problems are male caused. I also know it is not 100 percent. One must be a little open-minded and do a little research before laying judgment.

I have the unique experience of attending a “Life Skills” class, not because of a court order but for my own research of psychology. I not only recommend it to all, but I feel it should be mandatory learning in all schools.

It clearly defines taking responsibility for your life and holding others accountable for theirs. It clearly defines all the different types of abuse, in much greater detail than what is normally thought of as abuse. It teaches respect for the boundaries of others and how to protect your own.

I also recommend the chapter on Crime and Punishment from Kahlil Gibran’s book, “The Prophet,” where Gibran says, “You cannot lay remorse upon the innocent, nor lift it from the heart of the guilty.”

I hope they choose to let go of this bitterness, choosing rather a path of personal growth and expanding on the good things they have accomplished in their life.

Jeff Schauble

Bonners Ferry